The past year...a babe, an audition, and a race

- August 16, 2018

It has nearly been a year since Owen was born. And over a year since I wrote here. It is true, the days are long but the years are short.

Having 2 kids is…well, harder. There just isn’t time for what you used to be able to get done with one. Cluster feeding with a 3-year-old grabbing at you for attention is beyond frustrating. Little to no sleep is a whole new experience when sleeping in isn’t an option. That 3-year-old is getting up at 6AM whether the baby is or not. But we are past those first few months and Owen is such a joy. His personality is starting to come through and Miles is THE best big brother. He is so helpful and loving with Owen. Thank goodness!

Our experience for my pregnancy and delivery at Sisters of Charity Hospital was absolutely amazing. The staff there is wonderful AND you get your own room after the baby is born. One of the coolest experiences of my life was having an external cephalic version with Owen.

I did not want to have another C-section, but Owen was breech so it was either schedule the section or try the version.

*External cephalic version (ECV) is a process by which a breech baby can sometimes be turned from buttocks or foot first to head first. is a manual procedure that is advocated by national guidelines for breech presentation singleton pregnancy, to enable vaginal delivery*

There is really no way to describe the feeling of it. There were a few moments I had to stop and take very deep breaths and the one time I cried was more of an emotional moment than pain.

It was a success and Owen stayed head down for the rest of my pregnancy.

He did not want to come out though, haha. At a week past my due date we went in for an induction.

To make a long story short things went south after about 23 hours and we headed for another c section. I am very blessed and pleased to have felt labor though! I always wanted to.

Poor Rob, he tried to video my pain;)

To make another long story short…I had a terrible reaction to the anesthesia. I was shaking uncontrollably during the c-section and couldn’t even look at Owen once he was born. They gave me gas that put me OUT while they sewed me back up. I woke up afterwards in excruciating pain. They noticed blood in my foley bag and the room suddenly filled with doctors and nurses. I remember begging the staff to get my mom. Rob (knowing me oh so well) had already called her and she arrived shortly. The worst pain I can remember in my life was when they pushed on my abdomen to check if my uterus was shrinking.

They prepped me for another surgery and after the meds kicked in I was able to look at Owen. I will never forget that moment. I was so sad and so filled with complete love all at the same time. For Owen, Rob, my Mom, and the doctors and nurses caring for me.

This photo takes my breath away. Seeing my mom's hands holding Owen and remembering how I felt just sends shivers down my spine.

Back in surgery they discovered my bladder had burst and my uterus had ruptured. So I had emergency bladder repair and a hysterectomy. At the age of 36 I have a urologist- HA!

All joking aside it was a difficult recovery both mentally and physically. I never wanted more than 2 kiddos but when the option was taken from us so dramatically it was hard to think of never having another. Never feeling the joy of pregnancy and that bond you create with your little person growing inside you. Not to mention the extreme hormones that come along with a surgery like that. God Bless my husband! But here we are a year later, happy and healthy. Thank God for modern medicine, am I right?

I went back to work in October and with the help of my amazing co-workers began to feel a bit like myself again. In the middle of the Winter my mom suggested I audition for Buffalo Sings. It seemed a bit daunting as I was still a bit “off” but in the end it kind of pulled me back to normalcy. Does that make sense? Anyways, I didn’t make it but since we made a pretty awesome bootleg-y video to submit for the audition process I will share it here. The winner would have sung Somewhere over the Rainbow with the Buffalo Philharmonic. Ah well, maybe next time.

Audition video

A few months later I decided to train for my next half marathon. So about 6 months after having a babe and two major surgeries I started running again. We will use "running" loosely. It was more like a jog. But I did it. With the help and encouragement from great friends and fam I completed my second half marathon May 2018. Then promptly sat down to drink beer and enjoy the summer. Seriously, I have not done more than run after my boys since then. I am thinking yoga is my next move.