Thong be gone

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Probably only read this if you're a chick...

My torso is abnormally long. Robby and I laugh each time he attempts to slap my butt, he never fails to hit my lower back. Just looking at me you would think I have legs for days, but they’re actually quite short and nothing to write home about. Which brings me to why I titled this blog “Thong be gone”. For many years I only wore thongs (please stop reading now if you don’t want to hear more about thong wearing, the trials a tribulations of a long torso, and why I own zero thongs at this point) because I actually liked them. Thongs were the only undies that didn't give me atrocious pantie lines due to my lower than average butt placement. 

You wouldn't catch me wearing white AND granny panties. But this is similar to what I might have looked like without a thong

I feel it is important that you know I never, ever looked like this.

Come on girls, this is always fixable and hardly ever an accident. So gross!

Throughout my pregnancy no thongs were used. Since Miles was born I haven’t sported a thong. My torso it still ridiculously long and my butt is still lower than normal. I rock pantie lines under my sweatpants and mom jeans like I just don’t care. Honestly, I do care. I totally wish my body was still perky and thong-able. Alas, it is not.

These days I go for comfort and practicality. For any long torso moms out there, I discovered the wonderful world of boy shorts for when I want to avoid crazy lines. You can always wear long, bohemian tops over leggings too. Thank goodness that’s in right now.



Really lady?! Really?! There is no excuse for this.

I realize it is a bit much to write an entire blog post about my thong wearing status. Hopefully you got a laugh or a couple good tips whilst reading. 


Comments

  1. UnknownSeptember 16, 2014 at 10:55 AM

    Yay for library laughing!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Melissa MaldovanSeptember 16, 2014 at 2:02 PM

    Baahaahaa, hehehe, hahaha... I'm not in a library but am LOL! Great topic Sarah and I'm sure at your young age you'll be wearing thongs again soon! How'd ya get the great shots, Walmart? This reminds me of the time we were in Florida with the girls, visiting Grandma and Ted. We went to Caladisi Island (a nature preserve) for the day and we saw a man there with a thong bathing suit on, well all the girls were asking me why that man was naked at the beach! LOL, it seems funny now but back then I didn't know how to explain that this fat man should have a suit like Bills!

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownSeptember 16, 2014 at 4:50 PM

    That's laughing...not launching;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. TheresaSeptember 26, 2014 at 7:10 PM

    Having never been a thong wearer myself, I will just have to take your word for it :)
    Also - nominated you for the Liebster blogging "game" - ONLY join in if you've got the time and inclination! No pressure! -Theresa
    http://ordinarylovely.blogspot.com/2014/09/delightfully-free-to-liebster-away.html

    ReplyDelete

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